Why I Dumped GoDaddy.com

April 22, 2012, 6:02 pm | By Elisabeth Dale

I felt some kinship with GoDaddy.com when I first launched my website back in 2006. They’d drawn attention to themselves by producing controversial Super Bowl spots, and it made sense to park my new boob domains with their company.

Go see The Contract - Internet Only commercial at GoDaddy.com

I hadn’t yet published my book or spent time watching their videos. But GoDaddy.com was easy to navigate and the price point reasonable. Customer service reps handled my questions and concerns efficiently, and never acted inappropriately when chatting about my business. (Not always the case when the word “boob” is featured in your tagline.) So why, after six years, am I switching to another company? False advertising.

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GoDaddy.com commercials diminish and detract from the value of their products. Take their choice of the GoDaddy spokesperson and accomplished racecar driver, Danica Patrick. She’s strong, tough, and smart; all qualities GoDaddy might want to reflect. But they place Patrick in situations where she is (a) asked to disrobe (b) compelled to watch another woman strip, or (c) forced to wear a ridiculously small or silly costume. Beginning to see a pattern here? Even when teamed with well-known health expert Jillian Michaels, the story line is predictable. In one scene Danica complains to Jillian about who gets to “wear” which part of the GoDaddy logo. “At least you got the DDs,” says Danica. This internet version ends with one man suggesting that both women should have worn “the DDs.” And “we’re not talkin’ batteries,” says another guy.

Thanks, GoDaddy, for perpetuating the myth that men have a preference for one size over another. Nothing could be further from the truth. Everyone loves women’s breasts and all are welcome everywhere. Most men are happy to be around any at all. It may be true that, for women, there are only too sizes: either too big, or too small. You’re as likely to find a woman envious of a smaller bust as one who prefers a fuller chest. It’s similar to sporting curly locks and wishing for the convenience of straight hair, or vice versa. It’s a passing whim, not a career choice.

GoDaddy.com understands the persuasive power of women’s breasts. Otherwise they wouldn’t be using them to sell less exciting products like webhosting and domain name registrations. This not-so-creative (but surprisingly award winning) marketing plan makes us all look like boobs, and manages to insult the intelligence of half the working population, including business owners and a majority of consumers. Then again, women may not be GoDaddy.com’s target market. If so, mission accomplished. I'm taking my boobs+brains business elsewhere.